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Meanwhile, Chuck, who's making Eric research Blair's new man between croquet matches, seethes with barely-concealed rage when he has to watch Blair fake-fawn all over James at dinner. There's a battle of wits at the table, but Chuck excuses himself when he sees Blair's pin on James's sweater. That's right -- THE PIN, the one that she pinned on Nate's sweater last season, the one that supposedly signifies true love. When he calls her out on it and asks if she really loves the guy, she lies through her teeth and says yes. So Chuck's all, "See you at school," and leaves Blair, yet again, heartbroken... until he finds out that James didn't really go to Princeton like Blair said.

Blair's had enough of this game, so she goes to break up with James, but just then Chuck texts. He's coming to the white party after all. Never mind -- she needs a boyfriend again. Sounds like the dumping will have to wait awhile.

Dan has a strange encounter with Serena's formerly evil grandmother. Apparently her brush with death has her feeling charitable, and she wants Dan and Serena back together after seeing how miserable S has been all summer without him. So she lends Dan her husband's white suit and they prepare to hit the white party.

At the party, Nate's lover Catherine is furious to see him there with Serena. They walk past each other several times in efforts to make each other jealous, and it's working -- Nate is miserable. If only he could make Catherine feel as badly as he does right now. Serena has a brilliant idea -- let's make out! So they do, and of course, Dan chooses that moment to show up and be insufferably self-righteous in the way only Dan can be.

"There's always drama!" he explodes haughtily, and as usual, Serena can't explain herself fast enough, and Dan attacks her and makes her feel bad about herself, and we're reminded why this couple might need more time apart. Just when Serena looks like she's about to crawl into a hole, Dan gets another surprise -- the two girls he's been juggling are both at the party, and they're onto him. They both dump their drinks on his pristine whites, and Dan's shamed into actually being decent to Serena. They reconnect and agree to meet on the beach after the party, where they end up sharing a moment beneath the fireworks. Looks like these two are back on for now.

Jenny runs into her mean teacher at the party, and the woman's being as cruel as ever until Eric orchestrates a little introduction with socialite Tinsley Mortimer. Tinsley loves Jenny's dress and tells her so, making Jenny's teacher feel a little stupid.

Meanwhile, Catherine confesses to Nate that seeing him at the party with Serena is making her jealous... and it's a huge turn-on. They can't keep their hands off each other, and she gives him a note on a napkin telling him to meet her at the Mercer Hotel Friday at noon. So much for those two being over!

In the night's most heartwrenching storyline, Chuck and Blair continue to taunt each other because they're both too proud to admit how much they need each other. But Blair's new man is onto her, and he calls her out on using him to make Chuck jealous and puts her in her place. She apologizes, and then he confesses that he wasn't totally honest with her either -- he's actually a British lord named Marcus (!), but he was pretending to be a common American because, well, we're still not exactly sure... something about wanting people to be honest with him, because they never are when they find out he's a lord. Blair is newly turned on by his accent and the two decide to give it another try...

...until a waiting Chuck emerges and tells her not to leave with Marcus. "Why not?" she challenges him. "Give me one good reason to stay here with you." Chuck sputters that she doesn't want to go, that HE doesn't want her to go, but it's still not enough. Blair needs to hear those three little words, those eight letters, and then: "I'm yours." Chuck tries, but come on -- he's Chuck Bass, and he can't say it. Crestfallen, Blair tears herself away from their locked gaze and heads off with the Brit.

So what did you think of the premiere? Were you surprised by the couples who did and didn't get back together? What do you think of Nate's relationship? Will Dan and Serena actually make it work this time? And how much longer can Chuck and Blair torture each other? Let us know what you think in the comments!