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America's Next Top Model: I've got a brand new pair of roller skates

"C'mon, you're joking, right? You want me to drink this? IT HAS CALORIES IN IT!"

Week to week as we whittle away the contestants on America's Next Top Model, we learn that in order to be a successful model, it’s so important to have the entire package—looks, personality, everything. And this week it’s important to know how to talk and roller skate at the same time.

Read on for stereotypically bitchy models after the jump!

The gimmick that should have worked but didn’t is…
The bitchy model gimmick. The girls come home from panel to hear that they’ll be doing a fashion show the very next day—walking none other than Zac Posen’s designs. Miss Jay and Zac show up at the house to give them the news. Not only will the contestants be helping to launch Zac’s new line but they’ll also be strutting with “real” models on the runway. And we all know that real models can be so mean.

Naturally, the fashion show is a challenge. The winner gets five, count ‘em, five pieces of Zac’s Z Spoke 2010 fall collection. Zac tells the girls that he’s looking for personality and attitude so right away that means trouble for Esther and Ann. He’s even hands-on when it comes to each girl’s walk and does some coaching beforehand. Meanwhile, unbeknownst to the girls, Miss J asks the pros to give the newbies some trouble and act…well…bitchy. Some do a great job being mean and it rattles our green models a bit. The thing could have gone several different shades of wrong but somehow it doesn’t.

After the show Miss Jay ‘fesses up that the models weren’t really so unkind and that it was all an act. Not that their ‘tude really made a difference in the end. Ann and Esther and Liz didn’t do so well and Chelsey won—which is great for her because she is a Zac super fan. Plus, she really did deserve it.

The surprises that don’t work anymore are…
The surprise, “hey, we just thought we’d walk into your house and shock you” scenes are played out. No one is ever surprised anymore. Sure, it would be fun to see Mr. Jay and Nigel Barker first thing in the morning wink, wink but when they walk into the models' house and announce that they’ll be shooting their very first commercial, it’s not a big deal. The commercial, however, is. Nigel will be their director. The commercial is for H2T water (a fake product) and it involves being on roller skates and kissing boys.

Opposite sex kissing is so gross! The models are all forced to do things that are way out of their comfort zone but of course Kayla can’t hang. But she reveals that it’s because she was assaulted when she was younger and has trouble trusting men. Well, if you’re going to spill a lifelong secret you should definitely do it on national television. After a little pep talk from Jay, Kayla manages to pull though and does a pretty decent job in her commercial. Liz is uncomfortable and laughs through the whole thing and is totally unprofessional. We think Nigel kind of hates her. Esther is flat and boring, but what’s new? Jane and Chelsey have trouble with the skating but end up doing well. And Chris nails it, with a side of cheese. Ann is too nervous to deal. She’s afraid she’s going to fall and she does—over and over again. She’s terrified of looking like a fool and as a result, she does. We’ve seen some horrible things on ANTM but this was one of the worst, it’s absolutely painful to watch.

Our new favorite guest judge is…
Zac Posen! Not only is he adorable and arrives at panel sporting a smashing green suit, but he is truly present at panel, offering fantastic guidance and great feedback. Move over Nigel, there’s a new crush in town. We’re forced to watch the commercials instead of look at pictures this week. And it’s really not pretty. No one seems to know what the ingredients are in H2T water or how to pronounce them, most stumble on the skates and we wonder why they had the models open the bottle, drink from it and then put the cap back on. Super awkward.

With little surprise, as there was very little to choose from, best commercial goes to Chris. Ann goes from first to worst as she and Esther are tied at the bottom two. But Ann’s “best photo” streak of five straight weeks is too tight to just dismiss at this point and Esther is simply too white bread to keep around. And we don’t even know if she can eat white bread. rimshot! So she’s excused and Tyra tells Ann to work her awkwardness because ultimately, it’s a beautiful thing. Really? We thought it was weird.

Seeing Ann at the bottom two this week was shocking but also seemed right. Which girl do you think is strongest in the personality department and who could use a serious character overhaul? Tell us in the comments.


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