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Gossip Girl: Ivy League


"What? It's not that far-fetched. There's a photo gallery online dedicated entirely to your boobs and the outrageous things you put them in."

This week’s episode of Gossip Girl taught us the ultimate lesson: guys only think with their second brain. How else can we explain Nate’s defense of Juliet over Vanessa when trying to determine just who stole Serena’s phone to email her professor with a solicitation of sex for grades. Never mind that he’s known Vanessa for years and years, Nate wants to get into Juliet’s pants so badly he can’t even behave rationally. It’s no surprise; he did spend the afternoon lamenting the fact that his STD test results wouldn’t come in for three days thereby sidelining his romp in the sheets. Three whole days! How will he ever survive? The surprise came in the form of Serena who was so easily swayed by Juliet’s doe-eyed claim of innocence. Did Serena and Blair not just stage a vicious catfight in order to reveal Juliet’s grand scheme of banning Serena from Hamilton House? How quickly we forget. Here are some other thoughts:

Worst ride: Hailing a cab to school? Did Serena fire her personal driver? Why not carpool in Blair’s limo?

Worst rumor: Gossip Girl spreads the news that Serena has an STD. Based on Serena’s track record and the amount of cross-contamination between this group, is this a shocking revelation?

Best After-School Special moment: Juliet convincing Nate that he should be tested even though he feels fine and says he would know if he had a sexually transmitted disease. Take away the scam angle and this scene felt like it belonged in an episode of “My So-Called Life.” No one can deny the validity of this conversation before a first rendezvous and the back and forth between Juliet and Nate just confirmed his dangerous naiveté.

Read on for vendettas-in-the-making and Vanessa's grievous missteps after the jump:

Worst bad guy: Who is this dude in prison and why does he want to take Serena down? We’re at a point in the series where we need a clue as to what prompted this desire to destroy her. Right now, he’s just an unidentified creep with an inexplicable vendetta, which wears thin on our patience.

Most insecure: Vanessa needs to stop badgering Dan about his feelings for her, his feelings for Serena. Basically, just his feelings. There comes a moment when you have to trust that the other person is telling the truth. If you can’t do it, then it’s time to move on from the relationship.

Interview fail: Isn’t there some screening process involved when choosing minions? We’re happy to see Blair with a trail of followers, but she’s got to start demanding resumes. It was too easy for Chuck to turn one to the dark side.

Biggest hypocrite: Blair makes quite a few speeches about the importance of being a powerful woman capable of surviving without the help of the opposite sex and then tries to bribe a high-profile professor with the promise of a hot date to secure an assistantship. What’s more disheartening: the fact that Blair stooped so low or that the professor found the idea irresistible?

Weakest threat: Just how, exactly, will the information about Jenny and Chuck doing the nasty ruin Blair’s reputation? Obviously a plot point to ensure Jenny’s return, this threat pales in comparison to previous Blair/Chuck scandals.

The seeds of the Blair vs. Chuck war take root at Columbia where Chuck will stop at nothing to destroy every bit of Blair’s happiness. Once again, these two take things over and above a normal spat, which colors them in a psychotic light. We enjoy a little sabotage as much as the next person, but destroying the lives of peripheral characters or digging up every embarrassing detail about their past missteps makes us feel icky. What do you think?

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Comments

I overall liked this episode. It was juicy and drama filled. It's about time we had good scheming going on. Also, this juliet is good. She hasn't slipped up in front of anyone yet and no one suspects her as a crazy bitch.

Also, isn't it a bit odd that this Colin guy is showing up everywhere and is making Serena late to class which started the whole teacher-sex plot? Just saying that serena better watch out that he might be tied in with Juliet.

Can't wait for jenny to come back in 2 weeks!

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