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Gleecap: It's amazing what a mop top and purple hoodie can do


"I'm going to adopt you and teach you how to kill a man with a single blow."

This week on Glee, we learned that the power of Justin Bieber is a mysterious thing, and that despite its aggravatingly simple lyrics, yes Tina, "Baby" is kind of a good song. It only took Sam's gigantic mouth to bring out its richer qualities. Plus, Sue gets the most improbable part-time gig ever.

Back away from the asbestos-laden rafter
Suicide is never funny, unless it's spelled Sue-icide. And then it's only kind of funny because of the lame way she tried to do it -- Vitamin A gummies. Unfortunately, this becomes Schue's problem when Emma guilts him into letting Sue sit in on Glee practice to raise her spirits. Excellent acting aside, we knew Sue didn't agree for the music-addled endorphin boost.

Read on for screaming Bieber converts and Brittany's undeniably amazing style sense.

There's no one more rock n' roll than Justin Bieber
Threatened by Finn moving in on his turf and Quinn's waning interest, Sam decides to dive into the teen-heartthrob arena and woo his lady love to the strains of the Biebs. We originally prepared our barf-bags to get through the ordeal but then, yes, had to admit that it was pretty catchy coming out of that huge kisser. By "Somebody to Love" we were putty in that floppy haired kid's hands (by the way, his hair is pretty much exactly the same).

After Sam's first solo, "Baby" -- complete with Bieber dancing! -- Artie, Mike and Puck decide to board the hoodie train to draw their girlfriends/crushes back from romantic ennui, which Artie attributes to post-Valentine's day doldrums. Cue the girls screaming like, well, girls, and another unrealistically expensive stage set featuring a giant florescent light show. But who cares? There's more Bieber dancing!

There's only one "i" in "diva"
Unknowingly pitted against each other by Sue, Rachel and Mercedes eventually declare a diva-off, in which another of our drama nerd fantasies comes true. We were literally squealing with joy during "Take Me or Leave Me," which, obviously, was too big to fail. Mercedes and Rachel belting out the one Rent number that allows them both to equally showcase their powerful instruments? It doesn't get much better than that. Except it does, when their little tiff gets healed over by the magic of song. Only on Glee, folks.

It seems that Zizes has some diva in her as well, and she enlists the still-pining Puck to help her prepare. Our suspicions are confirmed when we see that singing isn't really her strong suit, but sweet knickers, did she knock that Waitresses classic out of the park. Need further proof? Just watch Sam's face during the number. That's not acting.

Bring on the tears
We were fully invested in a good old-fashioned goofy Glee episode with a bit of character development thrown in, and then Schue drags Sue to the children's cancer ward at the local hospital. Oh well.

Granted, the children were absolutely adorable, Sue was moved to tears and she even suggested/participated in the episode's final number, "Sing," which was good, but not spectacular. Sue's plaid tracksuit bumped it up a few notches. Unfortunately, the power of song AND adorable children wasn't enough to bring Sue over to the side of good, as she announces to Schue that she's taken a job coaching Aural Intensity simply to destroy New Directions. This woman needs a damn hobby. We suggest taxidermy or jai alai. Or a really cool combination of the two.

Let the bitchiness commence
Along with Rachel and Mercedes' clash, the girls were having private little wars against each other this week. After trying desperately to get Brittany to help her boost her cool factor through sartorial mimicry, Rachel fails miserably when the girls start wearing peter pan collars and animal sweaters and attribute their inspiration to Brittany. When Rachel confronts the style maven, Brittany tells her that she's not the kind of person people want to copy. We love it when we agree with Brittany.

Santana, meanwhile, is trying to reel Sam in while convincing him that Quinn is lying about kissing Finn. We can't say we like Santana's methods, or even her motivation, but Quinn had this coming. For someone who seems to have a pretty good handle on herself, has gone through some hard life lessons and is so outwardly Christian, she really doesn't ever learn about commitment. Sam finally sees the light by the end of the hour, cutting Quinn loose and latching onto Santana.

What did you all think of this episode? Were you annoyed or delightfully surprised by the Bieber takeover? Did Quinn get what she deserved? Will you now go around wearing legwarmers on your arms to achieve maximum bicep toastiness? To the comments!

Notes n' Quotes

Sue: Will, you have more grease in your hair than the guy behind Wikileaks.

Sam: Who's more rock n' roll than Justin Bieber? No one, that's who.

Brittany: I wore a tank top because I thought it was summer and no one ever taught me how to read a calendar.

Sue: Can I borrow one of your rafters to hang myself on? I did a test run in my office and you know what? There's asbestos up there. And that can kill people.

Sue: I agree with Spongehair Squarechins.

Schue: Who can tell me what an anthem is?
Brittany: The bottom of an ant's pants
Schue: So close. So close.

Mike: Are you playing Angry Birds?
Tina: Sorry.
Mike: Want me to show you my abs?
Tina: If you want to...

Puck: I'd try anything to get in those enormous pants!

Lauren: Although my love would crush him, I'm totally hot for the Biebster.

Puck: Can I touch your knockers now?
Lauren: Only if you want to loose a hand.

Brittany: Most teachers think by cutting class I can improve my grades.

Brittany: What is that look called?
Rachel: Sexy schoolgirl librarian chic. You better get moving, Kids R' Us closes at 6.

Santana: It's sad. You're just sad.

Brittany: When people look at you they don't see a trendsetter. They see a cat getting its temperature taken and then they hear it scream.

Lauren: If I was a country my national symbol would be a big fist giving the rest of the world the finger.

Sam: That's my James Earl Jones impression.
Santana: First of all that's offensive. He shot Martin Luther King.

Sue: No more Bieber, no more hoodies, no pocket lesbian Bieber hair.

Final Thoughts

  • Finn should probably not hit on Quinn in front of the entire Glee club, in the practice room. We know he's a big dumb animal, but come on.
  • Santana looks like she belongs in a Whitesnake video with that tight floral/leather fringe getup. Oh Santana, you are so hot. You deserve so much better.
  • Sue's facial expression at the hospital is amazing when she hears where Schue is taking her.
  • Yay, Sartorialist shout-out! Although that's totally not the way he works.
  • We really missed nerdy Sam, quoting Star Wars and speaking Na'vi. Also, excellent use of camera angles when he gets a confession out of Quinn.
  • Why is Zizes the only one not wearing plaid during the final number? It could be that it's really small and the shaky camera work is preventing us from seeing it, but really? Sue gets a tartan track suit and Lauren gets some button-up from New York & Co.? Weak.

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Comments

just listened to the podcast for this show and i noticed you were wondering who was wearing the back leather dominatrix outfit. during the song when she was picturing people in her underwear I believe it was SUE who was wearing that outfit hahaa hilarious :)

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