One Tree Hill: Superhero girls
"Evildoers, beware! We have cleavage and we're not afraid to use it!"
Do NOT let the ladies of One Tree Hill get bored. When they're at loose ends, they end up donning superhero costumes, running around like crazy people, and occasionally performing anti-bullying PSAs. Plus, Clay also kicks some evildoer butt, Julian gives Mouth the gumption to move forward with Millie, and Alex reveals that she, too, has a stunning voice. Is it something in the water, or is there a singing competition before you're able to enter the town's borders?
B. Dazzled, Shutterbug and
Baby Mama Mastermind
Brooke has watched "Kick Ass" way too many times, to the extent that she decides she can perform as well as Hit Girl. Since she's not working, she has nothing better to do than dream herself into a comic book. Meanwhile, Quinn is craving excitement -- apparently after you've shot your psycho stalker, everyday activities become bland. Haley is the only moderately sane one, but even she's feeling frustrated that all she can do at the crisis center is listen, not actually do anything.
So obviously, Brooke makes costumes. And, when crisis-center Haley takes a call from a girl who's getting bullied, they spring into action. The bullies have made a website and have published their plans to ambush their prey. Our trio interrupts them, but the mean girls are not impressed, not even when Brooke unleashes her sharp tongue and Quinn takes pictures of them from bad angles. Fortunately, Haley recognizes them from her time as a teacher, and scares the girls off with talk of screwing up their college chances. Victory!
Nathan and Clay
Nate is getting seriously pissed off at what a bully Kellerman is to his students, but it's too late for him to switch out of the class. Clay counsels him to suck it up for a while, because he needs this class to get the credits he's missing. Of course, there's nothing to prevent Clay from playing a visit...
Clay shows up in the class and introduces the class to the difference between theory and practice, taking Kellerman down a peg in the process. That's great, Clay, but we can't help but think that Kellerman will take out his frustration on his students.
Julian and Mouth
Julian is shooting a commercial for Tree Hill College, and Mouth is on board as a production assistant. Unfortunately, their actor is completely worthless and eventually abandons the shoot. Fortunately, Mouth understands what would make someone come back to school to try to change his life, so he subs in as the on-camera talent.
More important, Mouth and Millie are spending a lot of time together, but Mouth makes the mistake of telling Skills they're taking things slow. Julian shows him the diving-catch wedding photo, and asks Mouth if this looks like "slow" to him. Mouth gets a clue and asks Millie to move in with him.
Mia and Alex
OK, this just frustrated us. The studio is empty, right? That means it's not making any money. You need money to stay in business. Therefore, Mia should not be able to turn ANY paying client away, no matter who they are and what they want to record. Sigh.
Alex eventually gets in, and -- shock! -- she's really good. (See above re: water vs. competition to enter town.) It makes Mia realize how much she misses making music (and what HAS she been doing hanging out all this time?) so she decides to go on tour. Does touring work like that? Don't you have to book gigs first? She also tells Alex to keep singing.
Chase and Chuck
Hey, look, two characters we're not wild about are paired up! Chase is appointed Chuck's Big Brother, and Chuck is predictably obnoxious. Eventually, he opens up enough to admit that his dad has basically abandoned him and his mom has to work all the time to support them. OK, fine, it makes Chuck slightly more sympathetic, but he ruins it by making a gut-punch his signature move. Chase retaliates with a wedgie. These two deserve each other. And they might be seeing even more of each other, because Chuck's mom just happens to be the pretty lady who was chatting Chase up in the bar! How convenient!
Highlights, thoughts and odds and ends
What did you think of the comic-book intro and outro? We kind of liked it, but hope it's a one-time thing.
We were skeptical about this superhero plot, but it made more sense when it basically became an "It Gets Better" video. We still think they were stretching to get the girls in spandex, though.
Quinn wants to go bungee jumping. Clay: No way. I have a strict policy against doing anything where people won't feel sorry for you if you die. For example. you'll never hear anybody say, "That poor guy -- he just wanted to tie a rope around his ankle and jump off a bridge!"
We're happy that Clay called Nate on stealing lines from "Animal House" for Kellerman.
Alex asks Quinn if she's ever told her she wanted to be a singer before she became an actress. Yes, Quinn replies, you may have said that a gazillion times during Brooke's bachelorette party. So, I guess their memories have come back?
Brooke proposes the superhero plan to Haley
Haley: You are forgetting an important detail, which is that superheroes have actual superpowers.
Brooke: Yes, but I am feisty and you're pregnant! No one is going to hit a pregnant lady. It's like your shield.
Haley: You want me to use my unborn baby as my shield?
The superheroes do some research on their client:
Quinn: It looks like they're planning on ambushing her after school
Haley: Are you sure?
Quinn: Pretty sure. It says right here: 'Ambushing tranny after school', and two girls hit 'like'.
The commercial's script is kind of painful. After Mouth talks about taking control of his life, someone offscreen tries to hand him a joint. Mouth pushes it away "I don't want to get high off that THC." He brandishes a diploma. "I want to get high off THIS THC." For Tree Hill College! Get it? GET IT?
Chase asks Chuck when he last saw his dad. Chuck: "I was supposed to see him for a weekend last summer, but then his favorite Kid Rock cover band was playing that week. Can't pass stuff like that up."
Nathan and Clay see the trio of superheroes running across the street. Back at home, Haley asks "So did you tell Jamie?" "Did I tell our son his mom and her friends were running around town pretending to be superheroes? Of course I did," Nate replies. Well, I would hope so!