Gleecap: A show of neglect
Is it possible for something to be boring and over-the-top at the same time? If you watched last night's Glee you would have found that yes, it is.
Going nowhere much too fast
So we've come to expect a certain amount plot points constructed simply to house and shuffle-off the constantly rotating cast of guest celebrities on Glee. It was completely worth having censors come talk to Sue in the Rocky Horror episode simply to get Meatloaf and Barry Bostwick on screen. But the plot hoops the gleeks are jumping through for Holly Holiday are more than a circus poodle can handle.
On a show that clearly wants the viewer to be very emotionally invested in the characters, introducing Gwyneth Paltrow as a love interest is just insulting our intelligence. Ryan Murphy continually wants his pal on the show, so the writers have Schue fall for her and vice versa. But since she's an Academy Award-winning actress, celebrated chef and author, blogger/guru of sorts and a mother living in London with her rock star husband, she has a limited schedule, so they make her character emotionally unavailable and afraid of commitment. How convenient. Matthew Morrison didn't even seem that sorry to see her go, it was that much of a forgone conclusion.
Granted, along with "Landslide," this was the only other singing performance from Paltrow that we were truly impressed with. "Turning Tables" was a perfect choice for her vocal range, and it's hard to leave a good impression on a song originally sung by the immaculate Adele.
Unfortunately, all this was overshadowed by Ryan Murphy allowing Paltrow to use his show as a soap box. Because really, when she started preaching about online criticism and insensitivity, was anyone thinking about poor Tina anymore? No. We were thinking about GOOP. Also, stop talking like a gansta. That insults our intelligence, too.
Read on for more neglectful behavior and another cameo.
One celebrity's a party, two's a crowd
We also got to see Charice again as Sunshine Corazon, who we must admit we love. "All By Myself" was predictably amazing, and Charice really is like a little bite-sized sunbeam. But again, her entrance and exit were extremely contrived. Hopefully we'll see her at nationals, where she can actually have an organic cameo on the show.
Of COURSE Brittany would be a cat prodigy
We forgot to mention why little Sunshine is back at McKinley: the gleeks need money for their trip to New York, and the until yesterday unheard-of academic decathalon team The Brainiacs, comprised of Artie, Tina, Mike and Brittany, need money for nationals in Detroit. Since selling taffy seems a bit unrealistic to reach their goal of more than $5,000, Holly comes up with the idea of having a benefit performance featuring neglected artists, or a "Night of Neglect." Sick of being alone at the top and still unrecognized, Sunshine wants in on the performance to get a little spotlight for herself, and is prepared to invite all 600 of her Twitter followers.
The Brainiacs thing was kind of a bizarre little twist, but we did get to see Brittany slam the competition with her unparalleled cat knowledge and Artie light up like a Christmas tree when the category "White Rappers" was announced.
We want character development, not caricature development
Throughout the benefit preparations, Sue is gathering a "League of Doom," consisting of Sandy Ryerson, the Vocal Adrenaline coach, and Terri "Honey Badger" Delmonico. Sandy is comic gold as usual, as he's charged with being lead heckler at the concert, but Sue's evil ways have just become a joke. We miss the Sue that was both evil and human -- the Sue that could rant on the evening news about how scaring children is healthy and then go home and play a pick-up game of checkers with her sister. We at least hope she can dispatch Terri with better effect than her other two minions, whose massive failure was just a slap in the face to the diabolical genius that is Sue Sylvester.
Mercedes could use a Snickers
Because that's what got Aretha to stop acting like a diva in that commercial. Actually, we could use one too. Someone get on that.
Fed up with Rachel's limelight monopoly, Mercedes decides to take Lauren Zizes' advice and diva it up. This results in a hilarious Lady Gaga Grammy egg reference and (probably) Zizes finding her true calling as a manager. Her ice-cold demeanor while handling the plebes was awe-inspiring.
Rachel eventually comes to the rescue, telling Mercedes that center stage comes at a price: She doesn't care how many people she steps on -- and consequently hate her -- to get what she wants, and Mercedes is just too damn cool to act that way. When Mercedes finally does go on, her little tantrum is worth it. We are of one mind with Sandy, who can't heckle because he is simply too moved by the performance. Because this is what we love about Glee and that gets continually overlooked -- that the original cast is comprised of uniquely talented, honest-to-goodness performers, and Amber Riley is the creme de la creme of that team. It seems that "Night of Neglect" was a little too on-the-nose, as Glee has been neglecting any valuable development of its core characters lately.
What did you think, readers? Has the show fallen from grace, or are you still on team Glee? Do you wish you could have seen the rest of Tina's performance (because the opening was pretty damn awesome)? To the comments!
Notes n' Quotes
Zizes: I'm so trying to remember his name right now.
Sue: I'm sure you're all wondering while I called you here in the dead of night when I'm usually out bow hunting for hobos.
Dustin Goolsby: I'm not gay.
Sandy: I don't care. You're hunky and I'm what you call a "predatory gay."
Terri: What kind of a meeting doesn't have bagels or something?
Sue: You strike me as a bit of a tool who likes playing mind games with his opponents.
Rachel: You're a terrible spy.
Artie: Seriously, with your size you could hide in air vents for days.
Holly: Tomorrow were going to do Catherine the Great and her pet horse Fred, so come early!
Dustin: Admit it: I'm handsome, I'm good-looking and I'm easy on the eyes. Oh, and I'm gorgeous.
Holly: I'm dating Will Schuester
Dustin: Let me tell you something about Will Schuester. He has tiny baby hands.
Santana: I have razorblades hidden in my hair. Tons, just all up in there.
Finn: What's that saying, the show's gotta go all over the place or something.
Holly: I spent three years sending hate mail to Debbie Gibson until she wrote me back saying the stress of my insults gave her alopecia.
Blaine: You're a really terrible person, you know that?
Sandy: You sound like my court-appointed therapist.
Sandy: It's drug money, but you know, it's actually a fantastic way to launder it.
- We hate Holly's gansta talk, but we did love the Wallace Simpson shout-out. Because who doesn't love British monarchy history with a Nazi-sympathizer-smear thrown in?
- Oh, Emma is getting an annulment, if anyone cares.
- Mike Chang's dance was amazing, but how is Jack Johnson a neglected artist?