Gleecap: Been down way more than three times

This week's Glee proved that it doesn't have to take an overly-emoted Broadway/Barbra Streisand hit to get your feelings across. Sometimes, some classic folk rock will do it perfectly. Also, it's okay to opt for minimalism when it comes to choreography and hand gestures.
Secrets, secrets, they're no fun
Did anyone else make ridiculous home videos in high school? Because "Fondue for Two" totally brought us back. Though an open flame on a bedspread is probably a bad idea.
In any case, Brittany has been spilling the beans about Santana, and McKinley's new Sue Sylvester-backed gossip rag, The Muckraker, is all over it. Though Brittany is just trying to help her uncertain friend, it raises Artie's suspicions and results in Brittany receiving the most taboo insult she could hear. We get that that might be the deal-breaker for Britt, but that was a really abrupt breakup, no? We construed it as a fight, but the next thing we know Brittany and Artie are over. There wasn't even any closure on that sucker.
Read on for more rumors and Rumours.
Again, the healing power of music
We get another cameo from Kristin Chenoweth this week with April trying to get back on the Broadway horse after her all-white Wiz failure that everyone saw coming. This time she actually has a decent idea -- we would totally go see a musical about her crazy, booze-addled existence.
Schue is enlisted to help with the writing, but he has concerns of his own in New Directions. With gossip flying left and right courtesy of Sue, Schue steps in with a tip from April to channel some Fleetwood Mac. And it couldn't have come at a better time. With the recent overblown celebrity appearances (Gwyneth, not Kristin -- we didn't even know she was on until last night) and last week's extended episode, Glee needed a single, classic album to slow things down. From the first few plucks, we loved Artie's "Never Going Back Again," though by the ninth guitar the sound became a little muddled. And Artie, we know you're upset, but it's okay to just sit in one place and sing. You don't have to charge around stage like a kid having a tempter tantrum.
We need to address some rumors
When The Muckraker starts printing gossip about Quinn and Sam, Finn's reservations about Quinn's honesty resurface and he and Rachel stake out the motel where the exes were reportedly seen. Instead, they see Kurt leaving the premises and Sam wearing his jacket the next day (As if it would really fit...). But Kurt won't fess up to anything and Finn and Rachel are back on the job the next night. This time, they get the evidence they were looking for.
Naturally Finn is miffed, but Rachel is the one poking the bear this time. Instead of talking her supposed friend down from stalking his girlfriend, she exacerbates his trust issues and gives him more food for thought with "Go Your Own Way." Ordinarily, Rachel doesn't wear rock and roll very well, but we thought this was excellent. She didn't over-gild the lily by putting too much vocal flourish on an already fantastic song, and for that we thank her. Unfortunately, her stunts with Finn result in Quinn losing her head and mandating that Finn and Rachel don't sing together anymore. It's at this point that we are entirely fed up with Quinn's mood swings. If New York magazine is making a chart just to document your roller coaster-like feelings, you should probably look into quelling your anger issues.
No seriously, enough with the weird motions
Santana is still in the grips of her big secret and struggling to express herself to Brittany. Fortunately she has Christine McVie to help her out, and although it doesn't quite live up to the original (or even the Eva Cassidy cover), it is lovely...if you close your eyes. Honestly, Santana, just keep your hands and shoulders still. Put your paws in your pockets if you have to, because you look awkward.
Even more awkward is poor Brittany when Santana stands her up on "Fondue for Two" and then gives a statement to The Muckraker that she's in love with Karofsky. There goes our gag reflex.
A little bit meta
Throughout all of the New Directions drama, Schue is struggling with his own hopes and dreams. With April's new musical, Will has the opportunity to go with her to Broadway and give the stage a try, but abandoning the kids seems almost cruel. Even Emma, on her meds and embracing a whole new aspect of clarity, thinks he should give it a try, and Sue is working the pulleys and levers to urge him out of Lima as well. By the end of the episode he's given April a definite "no," but we don't like the look of longing on his face during the final number, "Don't Stop."
It's not what you think
Now we feel bad. Lately, we've been ardently hoping that Sam get a more prominent plotline, but we weren't expecting him to be destitute and living in a motel. Because that's the big secret: Kurt and Quinn were providing clothes and moral support after Sam's father lost his job and his family lost their house. So when Sam says he needs to quit New Directions, his fellow gleeks are unwilling to take this lying down. They buy back the guitar he pawned and let him know they have his back, putting rumors and club drama aside for their friend. Sam's breakdown upon seeing his beloved axe again is heartbreaking, and we can only imagine how many kids have had to suffer though similar financial problems in the last few years. We hope things turn around for his family, because we miss the happy-go-lucky, Star-Wars-quoting Sam.
What did you think about the episode? Did you like the homage to Fleetwood Mac, or was it lacking? Is Santana ever going to fess up to her sexuality? Will April's musical be a success? What's the point of a straw for that Chardonnay? To the comments!
Notes n' Quotes
Tina: I want to talk about the rumor about Asian men. Not true.
Brittany: Lord Tovington is allowed to eat cheese because he's on Atkins.
Sue: I'd just like a large cup of coca powder. David Bowie is incredibly eccentric.
Barista: We don't take euros.
Sue: We're not concerned with facts, fact-checking, integrity or facts. The Muckraker motto: If I heard it, it's probably true or something.
Schue: I think I might have "Rumours" on LP somewhere.
April: Who doesn't? Well me, I don't. Sold mine for drugs. Kidding! Nope. Did that.
Rachel: It's just like an episode of "Hart to Hart"!
Brittany: I'm so sad. I'm a sad little panda.
Brittany: What about him?
Santana: He's just furniture. No offense.
Santana: Ever since that Muckraker thing people have been treating me differently. I already got asked to join the golf team.
Rachel: I admit Sam is cute, but hes not worth losing Blaine over.
Kurt: Oh, how I've missed your insanity.
Brittany: What age did you start waxing your back?
Becky: Extra! Extra! Get your Muckraker here!
Quinn: And don't forget to vote for Quinn.
Becky: Bite me, Fabray.
Brittany: Lord Tovington, do you think "The Aristocats" is an accurate portrayal of feline relationships? [...] Just because we're doing this interview doesn't mean I'm not mad at you. Because I know you started smoking -- again.
Santana: I blame Sam for all this. And Rachel.
Rachel: I didn't do anything!
Santana: You probably did something.
April: You know what I call afternoon getting drunk? An afternoon.
Finn: I know Kurt was trying to help you out with old clothes, but I didn't really think sequin riding pants are for you.
Final Thoughts
- What was with all the awkward gesturing? Even Broadway alum Kristin Chenoweth couldn't stop pointing during “Dreams.”
- Finn and Quinn's “I Don’t Want to Know” was actually pretty good, angry facial expressions aside. Quinn's simple, elegant voice lends itself well to 60's and 70's tunes.
- Who is behind the camera for "Fondue for Two"? It moves and pans jerkily, so it's definitely a warm body. Perhaps another cat?
- Since when can Finn play guitar?
- We really could have utilized Jacob ben Israel a lot more in this episode, a la his invasive interviewing in the season premiere.
- Sue looks amazing as David Bowie, though we can imagine she has an unspoken psychic bond with Ann Coulter.