July 2009 Archives

Segment Producer, Jeff Hoover

 

Well, the pitch is over, but the giddiness is still swirling in my shorts. As I thought, I actually threw out the second pitch. There were four. First up was a little boy. I think he must of faked a fatal illness to get this gig. He did well. Of course, he stood about 4 feet away. I'm glad Pat Tomasulo wasn't there because he would have given him an instant Patdown for not taking the mound.

Then, it was my turn. My name popped up on the old scoreboard. I heard music. What the hell? The theme to "St. Elmo's Fire"??? I guess that's what inspired me to stick out my arms like an airplane and fly out to the mound. (Upon reviewing the video maybe that is a more macho take than what I really looked like. (Probably looked more like a sugar plum fairy minus the tutu.) I channeled Carlos Marmol briefly and let it fly. It was high and inside. (that's what she said.) At least it didn't hit the dirt or kill the catcher, Mitch Atkins. (He is actually a pitcher and he played later in the game.) I don't know what inspired me to flash my midriff after the throw...maybe it was the same reason the female soccer girl ripped off her shirt and exposed her jog bra? It's certainly not because of my 6-pack. (But, I do have a great rack.)

I was followed by the executor of Harry Caray's estate. He had been practicing for a couple of weeks and it showed. Showoff !

Oscar nominated actor Terrence Howard threw the final first pitch. I missed his. (I was all ready on my third Heineken in the Pepsi Suite.) The first three were before 1PM when there was 8 people in the stands.

Finally, let me answer the question that has been eating your brain for days. How in the heck did Hoover get to throw out a pitch? Well, I am not ashamed to say this. I slept with Dutchie Caray on a quilt in front of 16 cats. Oh, come on now. You know that I am kidding. Actually, Beth Goldberg-Heller and Grant DePorter of Harry Caray Restaurant Group asked me. They get to pick two people per season. If I was a Nascar, I'd wear their logo like a tramp stamp, right next to my tattoo of Larry & Robin.

Thanks to all of you for your love and support. And, Dutchie...call me.

 

Turns out a lot of you don't mind some junk mail in your inbox, in order for me to guest co-host on "LIVE with Regis and Kelly." I want you to remember this moment when you're sifting through e-mails from Viagara, and a man in Nigeria who needs you to wire him a thousand dollars.

I'd like to extend a big fat "Thank You" to everyone who voted, especially my mother, who I can only assume mobilized the New Jersey social networking underground. This is the only way for me to explain how I got voted into the Top 5, and my teammate, Larry Potash, did not. Gosh, how I was looking forward to sharing a hotel room with him- the pillow fights, jumping up and down on the bed, doing each other's hair . . .

Alas, I will venture to NYC alone. We're still working out some scheduling details, but once I know for certain which day I'll be on, I will let everyone know.

Thanks again!

Segment Producer, Jeff Hoover

 

Thankfully you do because you are taking the time to read this.

I am throwing out the first pitch at Wednesday's Cubs game at Wrigley Field.

What an honor ! I mean, not everybody gets the opportunity to do this, right? I will get my name on the scoreboard, get my picture taken, get a signed baseball, and I wouldn't be surprised if Morgana the Kissing Bandit charges the mound. Yeah, right. Who cares? I am just a producer of WGN Morning News. They probably have dozens of first pitches every game anyway. I am probably throwing out the 17th first pitch behind some income tax adjuster from Naperville.

Oh well, it's still nerve wracking for me. You see, having a reputation for doing crazy stuff on our show, I really wanted to goof around with this opportunity, but the PR folks for the Cubs nipped that in the bud. They want me to treat this ceremonial pitch with respect. No problem. But, I can't guarantee that something bad might happen.

Let me explain..

I was the starting first baseman on my Little League team. Well, I was anything but little. I was a chunky chew in my see-thru mesh baseball jersey that you could see my cavernous belly button and pink gorilla nipples. I was like a mini-Babe Ruth. (Or maybe I just ate a lot of Baby Ruths.)

Anywho, one game day, the coach told me that I was going to pitch. I couldn't believe it. I never pitched in my life. How was I going to just go to the mound and pitch a ballgame when I didn't know anything about it? The coach said that he had been watching me and thought that I had a good arm and he felt that I was ready.

Ready for what? My folks sat in the stands like they always did every Saturday morning not knowing that their hefty Hoover boy was going to make history.

I think you know where this is heading so I will spare the gory details. Let's just say that the slaughter rule stopped the inning after 6 runs. Every batter either got hit by my pitch or was walked. Batters would just stand there and not even swing. I mean, how could they when most of the balls would dribble or bounce in front of them. By the end of this debacle, I was crying and trying to fight thru my tears to see so I could throw the ball. Thankfully, my folks still gave me a ride home after the game. After that performance, I would have expected to be put up for adoption at least.

To this day, I am not sure why I was asked to pitch. All I know is that on Wednesday at 12:57PM at Wrigley Field, I will be ready. And with any luck, at 12:58PM, it won't be on YouTube. Or maybe I will want it on YouTube? Maybe I'll bust out the see-thru mesh jersey? Nevermind.

Much to my surprise, I was chosen as a  candidate to co-host on Regis&Kelly.  Since I did not campaign for this, I don't know much about it....but the voting starts Monday.  I imagine they'll show some video,  and/or  have clips on their website.

Nothing against Pat, but he's young and has a long career ahead of him.  I, on the other hand,  have little mouths to feed at home and I'm tired of waiting for the year-end WGN bonus.  Because, as I've learned,  'bonus' is actually two words at the Tribune Company.

I believe the co-hosting spot would be a temporary gig but you never know where things might lead.  Sitting next to the smooth, sexy, smart, Kelly would be like my bizarro world.  She's the anti-Robin.  I think we'd make a great team.

 I haven't won anything since I earned a fifth place ribbon in a youth track meet in 1976...when a fifth place ribbon meant something,   before the  "all kids are winners" philosophy and "participation trophies."

So WGN viewers---help a guy out---this week marks my 15th anniversary at WGN.  Cast your vote for me at Regis&Kelly's website starting Monday.

http://bventertainment.go.com/tv/buenavista/regisandkelly/contests/guestcohostsearch/index.html

By, Larry Potash

 

Monday marks the 40^th anniversary of the lunar landing and we will talk to a scientist about aliens.   He will address the evidence.

I'm talking the real evidence....not the  stuff they debate at the UFO Congress.  Yes--there is such a thing.    It's a place where UFO enthusiasts can congregate without being laughed at, and where UFO authors and lecturers can make their wallets thicker.

Perhaps the recent sighting of "mysterious lights" at O'Hare peaked your interest in UFO's. Who could resist? The idea of there being life on other planets is thrilling. The universe is so vast, it would be naïve to think there's no life out there. But that's a separate issue from someone paying us a visit. The problem is, it's difficult to get your mind around just how big the universe is. Try this: of all the little stars you see in the sky at night, the closest is four light years away, according to Stephen Hawking, and it would take the fastest space ship thousands of years to get there.

''Ok, then perhaps they have some super-duper technology that helps them travel light years in a blink?'' asks the UFOlogist. That raises two points:

1//Last I checked, not one good piece of credible evidence exists. Not an alien rock, or piece of clothing, or video. Nothing's ever landed at State and Madison at high noon.

2//If they have the technology to travel light years, wouldn't they have the technology to do so undetected by us humans, who get excited about the new cupholders in their car that's designed to last only four years.

Of course, none of this discourages the attendees of the UFO Congress from trying to make their case. Skeptic and researcher Robert Shaeffer visited a previous meeting. He dressed in black, from head to toe. When he walked in, everyone stared. One UFOlogist finally asked, "So are you one of those Men In Black?"

Shaeffer replied, "Sorry, I'm not at liberty to discuss that."

He expected a laugh, but instead, the man slowly moved away, confirming the paranoid spirit that runs through the UFO believer.

Here are the hot topics at this week's congress:

A couple of congressmen videotaped an interview ten years ago with an attendee who claimed to be involved with a crashed saucer recovery mission. The congress promised not to release it until the attendee gave permission but it seems the attendee has disappeared (Men in Black?) in the last ten years so they're setting up the video screen. Attend---if you dare.

Another participant will debut his research on the Starchild skull which "should soon prove to be the most important relic in human history." I checked out the website of presenter Lloyd Pye. It says the Starchild skull is most likely a human-alien hybrid. (Hey didn't Steve Guttenberg do the wild thing with an alien chick in the swimming pool in 1985's Cocoon?) Note that Pye also describes himself as a researcher in the field of "alternative knowledge," which I believe is a nice way of saying "subject that sounds important but doesn't exist in any major university."

An engineer and scientist found a way of calculating the duration of long-term magnetic reversals on the Sun. Using this ''knowledge'' he was able to break the codes of ancient sun-worshipping civilizations. He'll explain how the sun is the cause of all our problems although there is no plan at this time to erect the Montgomery Burns sun-blocker contraption.

How about a lecture on "Exopolitics: How Does One Speak To A Ball of Light?"

(I am not making this up.)

"Hello Mr. Light? I'm Mr. Johnson. Damn glad to meet you."

"Many people have made huge psychological investments in this 'alien visitor' world-view," Shaeffer said. "It's like a religion to them, they can't understand why other people don't 'see the light,'"

That's how they counter the naysayers like me. They might explain that I am just part of the cover-up conspiracy. Of course any conspiracy would have to include governments from around the world. And as we see on a daily basis--whether its celebrity gossip or political sources leaking dirt to the press--most people can't keep a secret.

    Segment Producer, Jeff Hoover

 

As a fat, pasty kid from St. Joseph, Michigan who grew up watching Bozo on WGN-TV about 3-inches from the screen while eating Archway windmill cookies, I never dreamed that one day I would be working at the 'ol number 9 and answering my phone to hear a security guard tell me that Cheap Trick is waiting for me in the lobby.  It blows my mind...or at least what's left of it after meeting Wizzo, Dr. Lester Fischer and the Empire Carpet Man.

The craziest thing is that after Cheap Trick was done performing one of their classic tunes, "I Want You to Want Me" and their latest single, "Sick Man of Europe, " the lead singer, Robin Zander and the lead guitarist, Rick Nielsen asked me something that truly shocked me.  In a hushed tone with intense looks on their faces they asked me in unison..."Can we meet Tom Skilling?"

Well, I thought that they were goofing around with me so I laughed and started to walk them back to the green room.  They didn't budge.  They were serious.  They wanted to meet him.  And they weren't about to leave without a handshake.

Quickly, I spun around and lead them to the Weather Center.  As I opened the door, I said, "Usually people want to meet Cheap Trick, but today, Cheap Trick wants to meet Tom Skilling."

To see Tom, Robin and Rick standing together admiring each other's work and making small talk about the weather was really amazing.  Of course, it would have been better if I had one of those windmill cookies in my hand.

By, Larry Potash

 

WGN is enduring a construction project  in our newsroom which means the medical team of reporter Dina Bair and producer Katharin Czink have moved into the office of legal analyst Terry Sullivan.

 You know how well this worked out for Jack, Chrissy and Janet on Three's Company in 1977.     While in 2009, Terry doesn't have to pretend to be gay, to convince landlord Sam Zell that there's no hanky panky here, Sullivan is concerned about Dina and Katharin  "femming" it up in his office.     Sullivan put him a large photo of Harry Caray in his boxers.   Dina is planning to put photos of ballet dancers, and photos of little babies dressed like flowers, or posing in a pea pod.

The fun never ends, at WGN's version of Three's Company