My son who is 6 and I were at the park playing T-Ball. When he was on second base, I could see by the way he was "jingling the change" in his empty pocket he had to go to the bathroom.
I told him that when he scored we would run to the bathrooms and take care of business.
He scored 2 minutes later and off we ran full speed to the other end of the park only to find the public bathrooms LOCKED!!!
That left us about 6 seconds before my boy's pants were going to be flooded. Like any good parent, we headed to the nearest bush and watered the shrubs. Given the circumstances and options, it all seemed fine to me.
That is until I got an evil look from an uptight lady walking her dog. She looked at both of us like we were disgusting low-lifes.
I initially gave her the old shoulder shrug to let her know, "Hey accidents happen."
But the more I thought about it; I got a little ticked.
This wasn't our fault that the door was locked!! And who is she looking down at her nose at me when she is taking her DOG out for a spritz and plop in the park? I yelled over to her "Hey, your dog can take a wiz in the park and my son can't? Give me a break." She proceeded to call me a pig, disgusting and a bad parent. (Ironically, I have heard all of these complaints before from my wife and children.)
Anyway, it made me think.
Why is it fine for dogs to padiddle all over the park and not us humans? I think humans should rank a little higher on the food chain than some hairy dog! What is the big offense with public urination in parks? If dogs can do it, why are we stressed out about humans?
Now don't get me wrong.
I am in total oppositions to any #2 stuff and vomiting.
I am also totally opposed to urination in alleys, trains, taxis, crowded streets, doughnut shops and "drunken urination" in Chinese restaurants.
However, I think we need to lighten up on giving the stink eye to picnic folk, golfers, mall walkers, kids and expressway travelers who are confronted with nature's call.
I can't tell you the number of times that I have been stuck on the Kennedy that I nearly shattered my bladder.
Why don't these damn politicians pass a law that gives us the freedom to tinkle-dinkle on the expressway shoulder.
No one is walking out there anyway.
It could bring so much needed relief to our general population. We especially need to think of all of those baby boomers out there.There are a ton of them who are getting older and on their way to having no bladder control. Let's not shame these poor people.
In these incredibly difficult economic times, the government needs to think about loosening up some of its' laws to make life a little easier for the rest of us. It's natural and it's not going to hurt anything.
That's how I see it.
Mr. Konrad
